Part 1/5 of "Not Too Late to Reach your Teens (Applying the Solutions)" focuses on helping parents understand why their solutions to restore relatonships with their teens has not worked and shows them to a better way. If you have given up, you need to read this!
Problems (Part 1): Family Problems | Solutions | Problem #1 | Problem #2 | Delinquency
Solutions (Part 2): Barriers | Let’s Solve it! | Confession | Steps of Love | New relationship
Parents think that there are problems because of what the child did or didn’t do. Therefore, the parents add fuel to the fire by scolding and nitpicking. Their children, no doubt, have done things that make the parents very upset. If the parents try to solve the problems that they think need solving rather than first resolving the seeds of rebellion or bitterness that developed because of the parents’ own neglect, then the situation can only worsen.
Without basic changes in the parent-child relationship, solutions are at best temporary. It is here that many parents have given up. They have tried ‘everything.’ But in the end, nothing really works. Things will get worse because the parent that insists on change in the child are only strengthening the wall of rebellion or bitterness by their own unwillingness to change themselves. These children are sure that the problem is the parents. They are partially right. The parents are sure that the problem is the children. They are partially right.Is there hope? Yes! But the deeper problems must be dealt with first. Only after this, can the other problems can be resolved.
Let me give you an example. From the parents point of view, they see the problem as their child’s desire to hang out with friends rather than study. Before making drastic restrictions on the child, they should ask themselves why is my child so unwilling to hang around home? Why doesn’t he want to bring his friends over? Is my home a wonderful place to be?Is it a happy and loving home? Most likely not. We know of a family with college aged children. On school break their son often brings ten friends home with him! Why? You guessed it. He likes his family and home. He wants to share the experience with his friends. A warm home is largely characterized by pleasant relationships between the parents and their children. They like each other.Below we will show you how to begin making the necessary changes tin your relationships with your children.
If your child is older, there are many years of pain accumulated below the surface. Not just in the child but also in you. Notice in the diagram that the parents and the children have their own barriers. This results in that commonly found communication breakdown. As a parent, you cannot change your child’s past wrong decisions, but you can clear up your offenses.
This is what we mean by working on a deeper, foundational level. As a child, you too can begin to work on bringing down one wall between you and your parents. The method is the same. We will continue to address the parents. Children can follow the same advice, but to simplify the directions we will look only from the parents point of view. Being older, they are more responsible for the problems and to initiate the solutions. Sometimes there is only one parent or only one concerned parent. This parent must take action even if the other is unwilling.I personally have faced these problems in the past both as a child and as a parent. I have used these methods (before I even knew they were a ‘method’). They work because they are based on God’s Word. You will see this as we continue.
Problems (Part 1): Family Problems | Solutions | Problem #1 | Problem #2 | Delinquency
Solutions (Part 2): Barriers | Let’s Solve it! | Confession | Steps of Love | New relationship
Biblical Foundations for Freedom
Paul J. Bucknell
Please notice other BFF articles on the family below.
| Parenting Seminar | Parenting Perspectives | Parenting Challenges | |
Principles & Practices of Biblical Parenting: For Toddlers and UpBiblical Parenting Principles provides helpful teaching on forming a godly family. This series provides good reading material with handouts and diagrams. (Chinese  #5 Child Training & Routines Check out our Famly Library for all our resources! Harmony in Parenting – Discipline Fathers Learn Effective Leadership |
 Godly Beginnings for the Family series helps parents start right: filled with lots of practical advice for prebirth, birth and postbirth accompanied with reading, handouts and clear illustrations on early training. Check above for downloads. #1 Family Commitment Discipling Children in Anger Setting Television Standards Priorities for Family and Life Connecting Love with Discipline - Discover why love requires discipline -Hebrews 12. Discipling your sons: The why and way |
Is Birth Control Christian? Recovering Biblical Parenting Can my son wearing earrings? Decay in society The Moral Slide of Sin Personal Impact Parents' Impact on their Children Devastating Effects of Secular Parenting Passing On a Love for God Need of Parental Love Theology of the Family Building Respect for Authority |
