Christian Premarital Counseling Manual for Counselors

Preparing the Two to Be One

Rev. Paul J. Bucknell

Handling Marital Finances

Session #4

Description: 'Handling Marital Finances' helps the premarital counselor recognize any significant area of financial matters by reviewing some financial guidelines and answering targeted financial questions.

Couples often argue over how to handle their finances. It was okay when I made the decisions! The husband can still do that (and the wife should understand and appreciate that), but he is not wise to do it without his wife’s input. The reason to make them one is to gain extra wisdom.

Get into the touchy areas. See if they are both committed to tithing, how they use credit cards, debt in general, etc.. Remember this session builds on the former ones that discuss good communication and decision making. Finances is another area for them to discuss! I look at these premarital sessions as times where I discuss sensitive topics so that might so that they later are not surprised. I would rather they go into marriage knowing these things rather than resenting them later.

This is a good time to discuss budgets (see forms), honeymoon planning and wedding budget. It is good to see if they have thought about their first year’s expenses. Couples should not go into debt for the wedding for that would only put more pressure on the marriage (of course, it is not proper either). Couples are to be content with what they have and live within their means. Buying more than they have is a sign of covetousness and idolatry (Ephesians 5:5).

Forms are given outside of the session to save time and give them time to discuss it together if they want. They are to fill out forms separately and then compare.

Time Distribution:

Discuss any take home assignments (5-10’).

- Reading the book? Anything interesting?

- Review any forms (at beginning or during session)

Discuss Handout #4 (60’) (Download)

(1) Financial guidelines

Talk through these discussion points.
Suggest they read Ron Blue’s or Larry Burkett’s book.

(2) Financial questions

Go through Financial Perspectives form.
Treat it as a Bible study.

(3) Go over wedding budget.

Review their wedding budget or use it to make appropriate comment.
Rule: if you do not have money, then don’t spend! Suggest alternatives - simpler wedding.

(4) Go over first year’s marriage budget.

Review the first year’s budget. Discuss any concerns.
Help them see any possible problems and difficult
End with prayer requests and prayer (10’).

Assign homework

Discuss any particular financial issue that needs further discussion.

Keep reading, The Family: God’s Weapon for Victory by Robert Andrews.

Hand out Tim Lahey’s What Temperament are You? forms. There is one for examining oneself and one for a friend. At least one is for the fiancee and another for a friend.

Temperament_Charts.pdf (1 for each spouse; 2 for others)

We will next look at how to work through differences between the spouses in a new marriage. Next ->

Hope | Love | Submission | Oneness | Conflict | Crises | Forgiveness | Intimacy | Trust | Love works!

Biblical Foundations for Freedom

Paul J. Bucknell