Redeeming a Walk on the Beach: Facing Temptation
By Paul J. Bucknell
Learning how to enjoy God’s beauty without falling into lust
Part 1: General observations | Part 2: Practical advice | Part 3: Safe web viewing
Strolling on the Beach
Walking on a beach should feel like an easy and enjoyable adventure. However, this is not so when the weather is warm and women are scantily clothed. Just as sure as the waves hit the shore, a man can be confident he'll face temptation. My goal in this article is to help men turn such walks into wonderful, God-honoring moments.
Anyone concerned with purity knows what I mean. Whether someone wears a clerical collar, is a frequent beachcomber, or is nearing seniority, temptation still appears. The evil one works to use these enjoyable walks to lead people into enslaving their fleshly desires. He aims to ruin what could be a wonderful, refreshing walk. I love ocean walks that energize me and offer special moments with God as I meditate on the ocean's great wonders, shells, and crashing waves.
Men realize they do not need to see women in bathing suits to be tempted to think wrongly about them. Although this article focuses on an ocean walk, if you as a man struggle with controlling your eyes when walking down the street or in a classroom, then this article can help.
Before this article can be very useful, a person must first learn to overcome regular temptations. This article will discuss how to handle extraordinary temptations. General principles for overcoming lusts can be found elsewhere. We will assume you have already learned these. The basic training of our thoughts and hearts is necessary before we can apply these principles in more challenging situations.
Before experiencing any consistent success, we, like Job, need to make a covenant with our eyes so we do not gaze at a woman. As a married man, I must keep my eyes and mind focused on the wife the Lord gave me. Our deepest desire should be to be pure for the Lord and for our wives.
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin?” (Job 31:1)
Protecting our Walk: General Observations
Our goal is to protect our walks and make them honoring and joyful times with the Lord. Before proceeding with a discussion on how to train ourselves to overcome temptation and achieve our goal during what could otherwise be a difficult walk, let us note some general observations.
Not all beaches are the same.
Some beaches are more than a man can handle. Even if one were able to overcome all temptation, there are so many stumbling blocks that there is no joy in the walk. All one’s time is spent overcoming the calls to indulge in lust. There is little time left to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. I follow the common advice: Don’t go to a crowded beach if possible. Stay away from popular pools. Do not take cruises in warmer areas. Prepare to instantaneously leave (with your guests pre-warned).
Although one can train himself to overcome lust binges, we cannot expect to walk on hot coals without being singed. These are simply common-sense rules we set for ourselves and those under our charge (like our children). Sometimes, we might be thrust into such situations. We can call upon God for help in these moments (2 Corinthians 5:17), but we should take the warning from Joseph’s response to temptation when it became too intense. He fled.
Enjoying God’s beauty
Some men will respond by saying, “I am enjoying God’s creation.” By this, they usually mean the sights of attractively shaped women. There is no doubt that we all find a general pleasing sensation from beautiful form. We do not mean to suggest that these women were not especially beautiful at a young age. God unapologetically made them sexy, but not for all men to see, touch, or be captivated by equally.
“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18)
A woman is made for her man. A man’s eyes should only find joy in the wife of his youth. A man must keep his thoughts reserved for his wife or, if single, for his future wife (the single must also refuse to indulge in sexual desires). Observing an attractive woman is not a sin, nor is the general feeling of pleasure, but our thoughts can take that moment and tarnish it.
Beware of Adultery
Jesus said it this way, “But I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). There is a point when a man goes from looking at a woman’s form with general pleasure to where he wants to look more and to please himself with her.
Usually, at this point, he begins to think specific thoughts about certain parts of her body, and perhaps about a specific follow-up action he would like to see. That is the essence of lust. This is the moment when our covenant with our wife is broken. This is where we have committed adultery.
“Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant ” (Malachi 2:14).
Jesus clearly states that lust leads a man into adultery. What was supposed to be a casual walk on the beach suddenly becomes a treacherous act of adultery. (We at this point will not consider what is going on inside the woman’s mind who wears so little clothing for all to see. She unknowingly becomes a partner in more adulterous cases than she ever imagined.)
What could be so glorious (our walk) can quickly turn into a devastating offense against God, the woman, our wives, and ourselves. Unless we can understand the Lord’s perspective, however, a man will quickly become a victim of his lusts and the devil.
Commitment to One’s Woman
The most important training involves clarifying one’s love for his wife. He must be devoted to his wife. If a man is not yet married, he should be equally committed to the wife of his future. “I will wholly reserve my thoughts for the wife of my future.” A man must be pure. He must commit to reserving his sexual thoughts and fantasies only for his wife. Any exceptions open the door for fornication and adultery.
We are not here to discuss how this commitment is made. It is the fundamental resolve a man develops in life. It largely relates to the new heart that God gives us when we are saved. We want to please Him. We want to treat others righteously. It is true that some women will not mind being viewed as pornographic 3D objects.
Most people would be utterly terrified if they could see how wicked a man’s mind can wander. Ultimately, however, our thoughts or actions toward a woman do not hinge on what she thinks (which she could never truly know) but on whether our thoughts please God and align with the marriage covenant we are committed to (or will be). God created men to treat women righteously. Lust openly admits that a man has been mistreating a woman in his thoughts. He has become self-centered rather than living out Christ’s agape love.
Trust in God’s ways
Besides this commitment to purity, we must also take joy in what is good. There must be a natural trust in God’s ways. If we doubt either the blessing of purity or our ability, through His grace, to stay pure, then we set ourselves up for temptation. It is this trust in God’s better ways that will help us recover from our failures and walk in what is good and pleasing.