Christian Premarital Counseling Manual for CounselorsPreparing the Two to Be One
Rev. Paul J. Bucknell |
Exploring Sexual Intimacy
Session #6
Description: 'Exploring Sexual Intimacy' for engaged couples summarizes and focuses on the special needs brought out through the past lessons and prepares couples for sexual intimacies after marriage.
This last session aims to pull all the main session points together. By now, the counselor has seen the strengths and weaknesses of the couple. They should encourage them to rightly face those problems so that they might have a strong marriage.
Our culture conveys so many wrong things about sex. Churches at times do too. In this session we largely want to paint a beautiful picture of what is good and lovely in its proper context. By reviewing the main questionnaire, we should be able to see if there are any significant problems. If there were, they should have been brought up earlier.
For example, the couple might have shared some physical intimacies with each other or others in the past. Someone might have STD. These issues must be dealt with before the marriage. Because marriage is built on intimacy, there is no way one can have a strong marriage and keep such significant matters hidden from one's partner.
If such matters are stated before marriage, it provides the partner an option to know what he or she is really like. In these cases, resentment will be minimized. Both the man and woman are to present themselves to each other as a virgin. If there have been girl or boyfriends but abstinence from sex and heavy petting, I do not force it to be brought up.
This session is a followup on the differences mentioned in the previous session. Differences show up in how the man and woman's sexual needs, responses and expressions. Emphasize the need for men to go slow (be romantic).
Usually, the wedding is not far off at this point, and I try to make this last session a bit shorter and less involved (unless it has to be). I share with them that we are there 24/7 if need be.
Time Distribution:
Discuss any Homework (5-10').
- Finished the book. Overall response? (There are questions n the book that can be used if desired).
- Make sure their honeymoon is planned.
- Discuss wedding plans.
Discuss Handout #6 (50') (Download)
- Explain the beauty of marriage and sex as an expression of that oneness.
- Warn of emphasis on sex in our culture. Do not use pornography or sensual movies to stimulate.
- Through the chart show the differences of the couple in the area of romance. It might be hard to speak about some of these items. We need to say what needs to be said.
- As time allows, go over “Raising Children God's Way.”
End with prayer requests and prayer (10').
Looking to the future (5')
- Plan any further meetings as needed. Mention that you will have one more meeting in about 10 months time.
- See if there are any special wedding or honeymoon concerns.
- Give any other assignments that might be helpful such as "Raising Children" if there was insufficient time.
This series ends here. Take a look at the index on premaritial counseling. Or even better, check out many more articles on marriage!
Read more exciting and practical articles on marriage. Just click on a blue dot below.
Strengthening Good Marriages |
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Equipping married couples with God's teaching on marriage so that they will pursue greater marital intimacy and withstand the subtle attacks from the world. (Click on the blue dots).
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Biblical Foundations for Freedom
Paul J. Bucknell