Walking in Integrity

Truth in personal relationships

Biblical Foundations for Freedom, 2001.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes some astonishing statements. Jesus gave six illustrations of how one must live a life of righteousness that surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees. In each of these six illustrations, Jesus returns to certain OT Laws on which these Jewish religious leaders prided themselves. Jesus challenges them on two accounts:

1) Firstly He challenges them as to whether they have the right understanding of that truth, and
2) Secondly He points out their failures and the consequences of their failure.

A. Discovering the truth. What do others say?
B. Discerning the world. What do others say?
C. Deciding your future. What do you say?

We will discuss only the section on oaths and speaking truth found in Matthew 5:33-37.

A. Discovering the truth. What do others say?

"Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS, BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.'

34 "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,

35 or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is THE CITY OF THE GREAT KING.

36 "Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.

37 "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; and anything beyond these is of evil." Matthew 5.33-37

We should not be too quick to judge the Jewish religious leaders. Our modern-day Christianity has a lot of holes, too. We too quickly pride ourselves on keeping certain commands, such as coming to church, but miss out on the heartier issues of not being bitter or being kind. All of us can fall into the trap of thinking we are obeying God's Word when we aren't. Think of some of these categories:

anger/murder,
lusts/adultery,
marriage/divorce,
oaths/honesty,
revenge/justice,
love/hate.

Remember that it is super important that all of the Lord's words are observed. Wouldn't you want to be sure you are not going to be turned away at the kingdom gates?! You don't want to understand the verses of Matthew 5 for the first time at the gates of heaven. It would be too late then. Although the hearing of the truth might humble us, we need the truth to impact our lives. Medicine is provided for the wounded, hope for the depressed and truth for the wicked. Now let's analyze the importance of integrity.

One thing the Pharisees did by their oaths and vows was to legitimize falsehood. They disguised evil with what was holy. Let me give you an illustration of what was common when I was small.

We could say any kind of lie to our friend or brother just so we had crossed our fingers or part of our body. I remember my brother understanding the trick and accused me of crossing my fingers behind my back. I quickly responded by saying, "No I'm not!" I quickly uncrossed my fingers (before I said that) and showed him I wasn't. But at the same time I was crossing my toes in my running shoes. I was convinced I could say any lie just so part of my body was crossed.

The Law was concerned with us being honest people.. The Jewish leaders focused on the object upon which they swore or didn't swear rather than the words of falsehood. Once we accept this kind of perspective, then all of a sudden we have used deceit and dishonesty at our conversation's base level.

The Old Testament was teaching us that we were not just to look innocent and honest but that we would be men of integrity.

B. Discerning the world. What do others say?

But that was then in their culture. What happens in our culture? Are we saying, "Yes, yes" and "No, no"? Do we only speak and expect others to speak truth? Certainly not. Lies are too well accepted and justified.

If truth requires trust, then falsehood needs coverup and deception

Two things often accompany lies and deceit:

1) Denial of deceit to others and self.
We simply deny we have deceived someone, that is, we lie again. As to others, it wouldn't be deceit if others knew the real truth! As to ourselves, we would feel too guilty. We don't like others treating us that way.

2) Justifying our deceit to our own conscience.
We justify our wrong by priding ourselves of the good need it fulfilled. Moral relativism has most affected this area. Honesty and speaking the truth are like a decomposing corpse in this generation. Listen to these samples:

Everyone's opinions and beliefs are right
The victim is always right
Stories are more revealing than truth
Statistics are more accurate than facts
Presentation is more crucial than reality
Image more influential than actuality.

Slandering, backbiting, gossip, lying, deception, exaggeration, and flattery all hide behind many of our personal relationships. One Christian leader admitted that the husband should not tell his wife of his immoral excursions into pornography. It was as if a marriage could survive on such dishonesty and lack of truth. If truth requires trust, then falsehood needs cover up and deception and shallow relationships to function.

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Some people getting married want to cover up their past sins. This is wrong. One might not need to get into details, but can a good marriage be built when secrets are hidden from each other? Is this what 'two become one' means? These people who hide sins will not prosper (1). Lies, defense lines and walls will be the norm rather than truth and depth of relationship. But beyond the high personal cost, would one dare misrepresent oneself to another? Why? For marriage? Those sins which influence your life must be brought up. One might risk rejection by his loved one, but this is better than later having to find she married some projection of a person.

This message of truth is a pertinent message to hear in this compromising, tolerant and evil generation. They define evil ways of life as good; cursed ways to be blessed, truthful ways as naive.