Hope for Damaged Marriages

Psalm 107:10-16, 33-35

Paul J. Bucknell

The Steps (#1-5)

Note: If the couple can have a person (1) that they both respect and is knowledgeable of the scripture together with them during this process, it will help tremendously. If the couple desires to do this privately, make sure their hearts are humble enough to quietly listen to each other (this is not easy and an objective voice is often needed).

Step #1

Have the couple read aloud and reflect on Psalm 107:33-35

Ask
Describe the two pictures below.
Which picture more accurately presently describes your marriage.

Read and Explain
Read Psalm 107:33-35.

"He changes rivers into a wilderness, And springs of water into a thirsty ground; A fruitful land into a salt waste, Because of the wickedness of those who dwell in it. He changes a wilderness into a pool of water, And a dry land into springs of water."

The couple going through difficult times should admit their marriage is more similar to the wilderness picture where the ground is thirsty, dry and cracked (verse 33). Something has been withheld. What is being withheld? God’s blessings. God’s love.

Ask

What does God do to this dried up pool of water in verse 35?
Ask them directly whether God can change their marriage back to even a more beautiful than it was before.

Step #2

Pray aloud using Psalm 107:33-35 as a basis.

"Dear Lord, we come to you because we are broken. What we have in front of us is a thirsty ground. A dried up pool. Lord, pools were made to spring forth water. They were designed to bring life to those around them. Lord, this marriage is like a pool that has gone dry and is cracked by the hot son. We need your life. We need your forgiveness. We need you to bring a miracle into this barren pool that it might again flow with life and water and be a blessing to many around them. Again, only you can do this. It says, "He changes a wilderness into a pool of water." We now specifically ask that you bring this couple to this abundance. In the powerful Name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen."

Step #3

Identify the issues

Have each person privately write down the three most troublesome things that his or her partner does. You can have them answer the questions,

"I really get upset when my spouse _______________________."

"I really would wish my spouse would change the way he/she ________________."

Step #4

Classify each grievance

Write down next to each grievance whether it is a sin or just some form of preference or choice.
If you say it is a sin, then write down what scripture is being violated. Don't get frustrated.
If you can't think of any, it is okay. We will work on them later. Remember it can be an action or the neglect of an action. It can be an attitude as well as something a person has done. (If the couple is working on this alone, they can do this as an assignment).

Step #5

Exchange and examine the problems

Exchange papers among the spouses and review the problems your spouse has against the other. Especially note whether you can agree with the classification on whether it is a sin or not.

Notes

1) Our ministry is to unfold God's principles of the Lord to you. We bring God's Word to you as counsel. God is our Counselor. We do not profess to be nor care to be government defined 'counselors.'

Next=> Steps #6-10

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The Bible Teaching Commentary on Genesis: The Book of Foundations